Happy Father's Day??????

With Father's Day quickly approaching I know that many of my single and some married mother Facebook friends may have a few stones to throw at their children's fathers. Some may even want to be recognized on that day as well.
I have something to tell you and it's not a secret. We can not replace the men that we chose to be the fathers of our children. Bashing them and name calling especially in front of our children does nothing more than merely highlight our own hurt, selfishness, pity, or hatred towards him. No child needs to hear that their father is no good, doesn't care, etc etc if he is, the child was eventually find out on their own.
Have I spoken against and about my kids dad to them you ask? Heck yeah, I have. But in order to show my children just what God's love actually means, I have to STOP! Is that an easy road to walk, OMG no. It's so easy to remember the hurt that our children's fathers have put us through, the wrongs they've done in the relationship while we forget our own.

I'm not saying be friends with him but at least give him that same respect that you seek as being a parent to your children as well.

Relationship 101...The End

Going through a separation is difficult for all parties involved...right? Unless you're secretly dancing on the inside because you're happy to be DONE with your spouse. ;-)

I try not to be cynical when it comes to matters of the heart a.k.a. love but sometimes I don't know. Coming out of a marriage where there was never any love doesn't have to result in your heart being blackened or thinking that "it" (love) will NEVER happen.


Shhh...but I AM dancing ;-)

Meanderings

Rain beating against the window pane
A puppy's sloppy kisses
Hugs from my children
The haughty laughter of friends
God's love

Relationships.....The Fixer Mentality

I grew up in a household in which my parents were married and I had two younger siblings. I knew that my parents loved each other and that they loved us......
So how the HellO I got myself in the "love" situations that I did????????? 


I've asked myself that question countless times......

There had to be something wrong with me right, right??

Well into my 30's and married, I had an epiphany.... I was the fixer. 

A fixer, according to Merriam- Webster, is a person who adjusts matters or disputes by negotiation. I thought that I could fix whatever issue these men faced, or fix something about their character/personality. I was so accommodating, willing to do whatever to make sure that they knew that I was "THERE" for them. All the time I was "fixing" I was getting, for a lack of better words, screwed over. Who could help the fixer? 

Anyway, once I owned up to being the fixer type, I knew that I had to take drastic measures to severe that characteristic from who I really was. I had to IMMEDIATELY STOP trying to fix! I had to know and realize my value and what I could offer my relationship and I had to be prepared for any and all consequences. 


1. You CAN NOT fix a man (woman). That individual will change when they're ready to.
2. You CAN NOT fix every situation that someone faces. That's actually hindering them from taking the responsibility to correct their own problems.
3. You do NOT have to be a fixer!!! 

You love them, You love them not...

Being in love with someone is totally different and separate in itself from just saying that you love someone.

<3 When you're in love, you love everything about him/her, flaws and all, but you will realize that you can not/should not want to change them. You want the best for them, you can see a future with him/her and if you're a believer you know that God needs to be in the mix! <3

<3 Some people say, "I love you" because they want something from you. Others say it because they think that's what you want to hear. And then you have those who say it because they just like the IDEA of being in love. Not to forget about those that blurt it out if the sex is good (just being honest). Lastly, there are those confused folk who don't know if they love you or not but they say it anyway (who does that??). <3

People before you go loosely throwing LOVE around, think about its ramifications....

 Song of Solomon 8: 4,7...Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.

Love Me

Love me
Not 'cause the sex is good
Love me
Not 'cause you think you could
Love me
Not 'cause you don't want to be alone
Love me
Cause I'm flesh of your flesh and bone of your bone
Love me
Cause you want that 1Corinthians 13:4-13 type deal
Love me
Cause without me, your existence could never be real
Love me

-----Bejoe

Zhane - Everything Happens For a Reason w/ Lyrics