Everyone has experienced loneliness, doubt, insecurities and the like. It's when we allow those things to overtake us that we do things we never thought we would.
At a low time in my life when I separated from my husband, I allowed loneliness and hurt to overtake me and entered into a relationship with someone else. This man wasn't sent by God to help nor "fix" me. All I could see was that someone was there to comfort me, talk to me but you know what?
The loneliness and hurt remained because I was just going further and further away from the things of Christ.
When I should have turned to God and cried out to Him to fill me. I did not. When I should have reached out to family and friends who I knew without a doubt would cover me in prayers and fight with me. I did not.
I couldn't fight my fears alone but I didn't want to seem weak or vulnerable on the outside.
Crumbling inside, I began attending church less, not speaking with my family as I should, my children still had "me" but I was not the "me" they've always known or had. I began shutting people out that would tell me about myself. I put on this front of happiness in the relationship that I found myself in. I was convicting myself but not allowing God to truly convict me.
People, loneliness will make you do some crazy things.
Today I walk in total forgiveness of self. I laid my heart bare before my children and my God. I'm no longer fearful of what tomorrow may bring because I have this crazy peace that I can't really explain. I can rest in all certainty that I know where I will spend eternity (and that's a beautiful thang!)
Psalms 23:4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Psalms 34:4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Christ's love is loyal.