Tuesday, December 31, 2013
When Love Hurts......
Okay I know for the most part, I've maintained a sense of humor throughout most of my blog post. But not this time......
It's so easy to throw out words when you're arguing with your spouse but you'll never be able to take those hurtful words back. Throwing out words like divorce and separation, get really old really quickly. You've created a festering wound in the one you claimed to love once upon a time, they'll build up a wall and declare that you'll never hurt them again. If you don't mean those words DON'T SAY THEM. But whatever you do don't continue to go about your usual day to day rigmarole and "forget" that you've been hurtful and spoken hurtful words and expect your mate to have forgotten what you've said...believe me they haven't.
Things will never be the same....
Just Say No to New Years Resolutions!!!
I use to be the one making all of these extremely impossible to accomplish (for me) New Years Resolutions. Some I'd follow through with, others I never came close to trying to achieve. The results would always be the same, I'd be so disappointed in myself and felt like a failure. So this coming year I've decided that NOPE there will be NO New Years Resolutions for me.
.....certainly there are things that I need to work on, change, master, do, accomplish, focus on, etcetera etcetera but these things will be done in due time. I'm not putting a time frame on anything any longer.
HAPPY NEW YEARS
FROM
BEJOE AND THE 5 C'S
.....certainly there are things that I need to work on, change, master, do, accomplish, focus on, etcetera etcetera but these things will be done in due time. I'm not putting a time frame on anything any longer.
HAPPY NEW YEARS
FROM
BEJOE AND THE 5 C'S
Monday, November 25, 2013
"Happy Days Are Here Again"
So it's been a few months since I've "said" anything. So here I am....HEY!!!
My August, September, October, November have been filled with rocky roads, tear stained pillows, ups downs, highs/lows but there has been a silver lining (why wouldn't there be) my children.
There are always things that we focus on when the times get tough and for me it's doing the utmost for my children. All parents say as they look into their newborn's eyes for the very first time, that they promise to make their lives better than their own. We promise to make their lives better, they'll get the best toys, go to the best school, wear the best clothes, never worry about being hungry or cold, always have a roof over their heads etc etc. But what we fail to realize that even if we give them EVERYTHING but have no happiness to share with them, it's all null and void.
My rambunctious crew, I've affectionately dubbed the 5 C's, know that I would do ANYTHING absolutely ANYTHING for them and give them what they wanted, if at all possible. But for the last couple months, I've been an unhappy mommy, having the occasional emotional breakdowns with unexplainable and inconsolable tears. They tried their best to wipe away my tears, hug me, make me pictures, cards, even little video messages those only aided in momentary feelings of happiness. It was not until I realized that I controlled my own happiness, no one or no situation should be able to make me feel less than. Like an epiphany, it came to me, all these years of trying to make some else happy, I had neglected my own.
And with that, I decided to take the steps to find my golden ticket a.k.a my happiness, in doing so giving my children ALL of me and EVERYTHING.
Along the ride, I've rediscovered things about myself, that I'm absolutely in love with! And I've even made some unbelievable strides and have been blessed tremendously like I've never imagined!!! I can't wait to share with you but for now, I've gotta keep it on the hush! :-) Just remember that God is forever faithful and when we cry out to Him, He's there listening, loving, and wanting the very best for His children.
My happy days are here...again
My August, September, October, November have been filled with rocky roads, tear stained pillows, ups downs, highs/lows but there has been a silver lining (why wouldn't there be) my children.
There are always things that we focus on when the times get tough and for me it's doing the utmost for my children. All parents say as they look into their newborn's eyes for the very first time, that they promise to make their lives better than their own. We promise to make their lives better, they'll get the best toys, go to the best school, wear the best clothes, never worry about being hungry or cold, always have a roof over their heads etc etc. But what we fail to realize that even if we give them EVERYTHING but have no happiness to share with them, it's all null and void.
My rambunctious crew, I've affectionately dubbed the 5 C's, know that I would do ANYTHING absolutely ANYTHING for them and give them what they wanted, if at all possible. But for the last couple months, I've been an unhappy mommy, having the occasional emotional breakdowns with unexplainable and inconsolable tears. They tried their best to wipe away my tears, hug me, make me pictures, cards, even little video messages those only aided in momentary feelings of happiness. It was not until I realized that I controlled my own happiness, no one or no situation should be able to make me feel less than. Like an epiphany, it came to me, all these years of trying to make some else happy, I had neglected my own.
And with that, I decided to take the steps to find my golden ticket a.k.a my happiness, in doing so giving my children ALL of me and EVERYTHING.
Along the ride, I've rediscovered things about myself, that I'm absolutely in love with! And I've even made some unbelievable strides and have been blessed tremendously like I've never imagined!!! I can't wait to share with you but for now, I've gotta keep it on the hush! :-) Just remember that God is forever faithful and when we cry out to Him, He's there listening, loving, and wanting the very best for His children.
My happy days are here...again
Friday, August 9, 2013
My Ramblings of Family..... Roles... Responsibilities...Sanity!!!
So I've been meaning to finish this blog entry, but I seem to always forget to do so.
I'm married and I'm employed outside of the home, I'm a mom. I have married friends who also work outside of the home, and they are moms. I have married friends who work in the home ('cause being a full time mommy IS a job too) and I have single friends who work outside of the home, and they're moms.
We mommies all have responsibilities that consist of being just more than a mommy or employee. There's the cook, the maid, the negotiator, the chauffeur, the coach, the stylist, the exterminator, the nurturer, the kisser of boo boos and so much more. PHEW
All of these responsibilities already drain you then add on a WHOLE husband!!! Good golly Miss Molly!!! I think that sometimes we take each others roles for granted in a marriage. There are these expectations that we have of each other and it seems that if A + B doesn't = C then you're not measuring up to what a wife or husband is suppose to be.
I tell my family often, I'm not an employee of that M.M. service (the one that you call out to help tidy your unruly home)so I WON'T be cleaning up after them. What wife/mommy appreciates coming home from a long days work to pick up smelly socks, or that one legged baby doll that seems to find her way downstairs (she freaks me out)...ON A DAILY BASIS??? NOT ME! But then on the flip side, what husband wants to work all day to provide for his family (his wife doesn't work outside the home) to no dinner EVERY night?
I really think that when life begins to get overwhelming, a family should create shared responsibilities. It should not be just mom cooking and cleaning. It should not be just dad (wait a minute what do they do again?? :-) j/k) disciplining the kids and taking out the garbage. We've learned to model the behavior and characteristics of our parents and lawd have mercy if your parents sucked at their roles and you weren't provided with the best example! That's when you learn that okay, evidently that didn't work and you TRY your best to be totally different, totally better with your family.
WAYS TO GET THE WHOLE FAMILY INVOLVED
1. Give the kids a task that is ONLY reserved for just them!
2. Sometimes mommy may be running late from work, so dad can help get dinner started.
3. Even if the item doesn't belong to you and it's not in the correct place, PICK IT UP, PUT IT AWAY, AND STOP WALKING OVER IT!!! (one of my biggest pet peeves...I've got a few more.)
4. Okay so dad forgot to take out the trash and it's starting to build into this elaborate masterpiece of items being stacked up on top of each other, mom it's okay to take it out yourself.
5. On that rare occasion when everyone is home, blast some music throughout the house and get the house cleaned together!! (no hiding things under the bed... O_o or throwing them in the closets..O_o BUT really cleaning).
Proverbs 17:6 Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery --but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Proverbs 31:10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
I'm married and I'm employed outside of the home, I'm a mom. I have married friends who also work outside of the home, and they are moms. I have married friends who work in the home ('cause being a full time mommy IS a job too) and I have single friends who work outside of the home, and they're moms.
We mommies all have responsibilities that consist of being just more than a mommy or employee. There's the cook, the maid, the negotiator, the chauffeur, the coach, the stylist, the exterminator, the nurturer, the kisser of boo boos and so much more. PHEW
All of these responsibilities already drain you then add on a WHOLE husband!!! Good golly Miss Molly!!! I think that sometimes we take each others roles for granted in a marriage. There are these expectations that we have of each other and it seems that if A + B doesn't = C then you're not measuring up to what a wife or husband is suppose to be.
I tell my family often, I'm not an employee of that M.M. service (the one that you call out to help tidy your unruly home)so I WON'T be cleaning up after them. What wife/mommy appreciates coming home from a long days work to pick up smelly socks, or that one legged baby doll that seems to find her way downstairs (she freaks me out)...ON A DAILY BASIS??? NOT ME! But then on the flip side, what husband wants to work all day to provide for his family (his wife doesn't work outside the home) to no dinner EVERY night?
I really think that when life begins to get overwhelming, a family should create shared responsibilities. It should not be just mom cooking and cleaning. It should not be just dad (wait a minute what do they do again?? :-) j/k) disciplining the kids and taking out the garbage. We've learned to model the behavior and characteristics of our parents and lawd have mercy if your parents sucked at their roles and you weren't provided with the best example! That's when you learn that okay, evidently that didn't work and you TRY your best to be totally different, totally better with your family.
WAYS TO GET THE WHOLE FAMILY INVOLVED
1. Give the kids a task that is ONLY reserved for just them!
2. Sometimes mommy may be running late from work, so dad can help get dinner started.
3. Even if the item doesn't belong to you and it's not in the correct place, PICK IT UP, PUT IT AWAY, AND STOP WALKING OVER IT!!! (one of my biggest pet peeves...I've got a few more.)
4. Okay so dad forgot to take out the trash and it's starting to build into this elaborate masterpiece of items being stacked up on top of each other, mom it's okay to take it out yourself.
5. On that rare occasion when everyone is home, blast some music throughout the house and get the house cleaned together!! (no hiding things under the bed... O_o or throwing them in the closets..O_o BUT really cleaning).
Proverbs 17:6 Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery --but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Proverbs 31:10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
If I ONLY had Six More Arms!!!
Who can identify with this picture?
Mommies if you had that many arms you'd still need 2 or 4 more to REALLY get everything done!!! LOL
Tales of the Mommy Formerly Known As Grouchy
So.....
this morning I wake up do a little homework before getting ready for work, my precious family are all sound asleep, looking like the angelic angels they are.
It's time to for everyone to wake up now. Some you have to call once others three times before they you have to literally drag them outta bed.
Something's festering.....
Pleading for them to get ready so that they won't get in trouble, someone can't find socks, somebody else can't find a shoe, then it's "Ma, where are my shorts?"
Is it getting hot in here......
Clothes strawn all over the floor, "please be still so I can fix your hair", I say. Oh lawd where's the time gone??
Okay, now in the midst of the hot, festering agitation, I'm running late.....
Downstairs I go....STOP!!! WTH (and the h is for heaven, I might add) has happened down here??? In the kitchen....STOP!!! WTH (again heaven) has happened in here??
Festering, hot, late, now pissed.....
A little of this, a little of that, to make it nice enough to clean when I return from my 8 hour day at work, coming quietly in the kitchen a little person has sensed mommy's frustrations and has come to my aid :-) ahhh how I needed that
Slamming the door, I leave..festering, hot, agitated, running late, grouchy and now guilty as I've realized I haven't told my babies I loved them or given them kisses or prayed over them
Mommys out there in MommyLand, these things happen daily, women who are not mothers may not appreciate or understand, husbands are literally CLUELESS because they have no way of knowing or understanding the role of a mother but many are quick to chime in on how you SHOULD be doing things (which I might add is, I'm almost certain, grounds for murder..okay maybe not murder but something)It is perfectly okay to leave your families crap where it may lay, it's okay to leave those dishes in the sink, it's okay to walk on that mound of clothes and look at that piece of trash on the floor that's been there for 5 days and apparently no on else has seen it...hummm. Because if you don't, you will allow your mornings to become as mine was today.
Start you day off with speaking to the Father BEFORE you do anything else (humph I didn't do that this morning) and I guarantee, your day will be so much better! And don't forget to pray and over for your husband and children <3
All my love,
The Mommy Formerly Know As Grouchy
Ecclesiastes 7:14
When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Looking for a scrupulous way of unfriending someone on a social media site? Well I may just have your solution...
I regret that I must unfriend you but I can no longer stomach your posts which are heavily saturated in untruths about who you are and what you're doing or have done. I refuse to sit back and quietly watch as people who are oblivious to these shenanigans, fall prey to your lies and become entangled in your web of deceit.
Bejoe <3
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Can I get a do Over?
"Boy there are things that I really wish I could "do over" or time I'd like to get back".
If you sit long enough thinking that and reminiscing about what you had, you can actually get physically sick! And AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!
You are where you are because it's where you've placed yourself.
Sometimes still, I look at what my friends have and what they've accomplished and I get urgh because I don't. But then those same friends, the REAL ONES that is, don't make me feel less than, they treat me just the very same. I'm not less than but = to and that feels totally AWESOME!!
I can't get my teenage years back, they're long gone!
My twenties aren't coming back either.
But here I am thriving in my 30's, doing things that I had once began to give up hope on!!
I don't have to wish on a star neither do I need a "do over". I'm where I should be <3
Friday, May 10, 2013
Working Mommy's Plight
Today I thought I would have been a little sad because I'm missing out on my 5 year old twins Mother's Day celebrations and I'm used to ALWAYS at events!! I'm so blessed to have Rhulaunda E. Donald as a friend, sistergirl, mother of my godson and teacher to one of the twins, she called me and put me on speaker phone so that I could "be" at their celebrations today!!! Thank you Rhu, that meant a lot to me.
It's teachers like you, Courtney Santos, Courtney Hodges, Lyndsey Keith and more that go out of your way to make great things happen for our children!! <3 you all!
Beyond Blessed and Thankful
God is always showing Himself to me even in the midst of the chaos. Right now tears were streaming down my face as I sat at my desk, not from sadness or sorrow, but out of pure joy and thankfulness. If ya'll remember I was deathly ill last June, had no health insurance and I accrued thousands of dollars worth of medical bills! Well the hospital called me to let me know that my once over $5,000 balance is now 0! The weight and pressure lifted as the counselor talked to me all I could do was cry as she told me.
So even when you think He doesn't hear you because things are not going as you think they should, just know that He WILL work it out for you!!!
..Feeling so blessed right now
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
I gotsa J-O-B!!
After graduating, I was working as an temporary employee of the college I graduated from, the beautiful, the prestigious College of Charleston ;-)within a couple of months and after filling out countless job applications,going on a few interviews, I began to feel a little discouraged.
Finally in December, I got a call back that sounded truly promising!!!
It was from the College of Charleston, I was asked if I was still interested in the position.
Lord knows I tried not to sound too overjoyed or excited (all the while I was jumping up inside, cheesing from ear to ear and feeling so humbled).
I had to work at my other part time job right before I had my interview. So I had a mad dash to change out of that uniform into something MUCH nicer.
And wouldn't you know on the way to my interview, a sista got a visit from "Aunt Flo" O_o
I didn't let that deter me, did what I had to and kept it moving!!
The interview was no longer than about 15 minutes, I was so confident and thrilled! I had a knowing that the position was mine.
A couple days later, I received the offer!!! A sista girl was crying and praising the Lord honeTy...and you know I ACCEPTED!!
January 7th of 2013, I began my new position as the Administrative Specialist II in one of the BEST departments on campus!!!
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
April 21st 1998...The day that changed my life for the better....
April 21st 15 years ago my life changed for the better. Sure I was an 18 year old college freshman...so of course my life was suppose to be FA BO LO US <---yeah I know that isn't the way to spell it but I just felt like reliving rapper Fabolous' continuous and annoying spelling of his name in every rap song he sung back in my day (or as my kids would say, "back in the olden days")
My life had become fabulous not because I had met some incredible dude, not because I some over achieving student, but it had become fabulous because I'd become a mom at 5:52 p.m. on a Tuesday evening!
Christopher 2nd name 3rd name last name (I can't divulge my baby's whole name up here ;-) had come into this world and made me a better person, but more so he provided me with the title of Mom.
The circumstances in which he came to be and who the "donor" of the sperm was, no longer mattered to me, because he was beautiful, perfect, precious...PRICELESS. I would become mama and daddy, since "daddy" wasn't man enough to step up (sad to say some 15 years later he still isn't, but I digress...
To my boy, I say that you were fearfully and wonderfully made and there is no one like you and I love that!
You're intelligent, funny, brave, lovable, an awesome big brother, son, grandson, great grandson, nephew, student, friend, young man, athlete and so much more...
Thursday, April 18, 2013
I'S BAAACCCK
So....let's see here.
I've been pretty slack with this blog of mine. :-( A lot has happened in this past few months, both good and bad...all dealing with issues with my family life, hair, new job <--- whoot whoot
But I'm back now and I'm promising not to leave you hanging....AGAIN!!!
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