Meanderings

Rain beating against the window pane
A puppy's sloppy kisses
Hugs from my children
The haughty laughter of friends
God's love

Relationships.....The Fixer Mentality

I grew up in a household in which my parents were married and I had two younger siblings. I knew that my parents loved each other and that they loved us......
So how the HellO I got myself in the "love" situations that I did????????? 


I've asked myself that question countless times......

There had to be something wrong with me right, right??

Well into my 30's and married, I had an epiphany.... I was the fixer. 

A fixer, according to Merriam- Webster, is a person who adjusts matters or disputes by negotiation. I thought that I could fix whatever issue these men faced, or fix something about their character/personality. I was so accommodating, willing to do whatever to make sure that they knew that I was "THERE" for them. All the time I was "fixing" I was getting, for a lack of better words, screwed over. Who could help the fixer? 

Anyway, once I owned up to being the fixer type, I knew that I had to take drastic measures to severe that characteristic from who I really was. I had to IMMEDIATELY STOP trying to fix! I had to know and realize my value and what I could offer my relationship and I had to be prepared for any and all consequences. 


1. You CAN NOT fix a man (woman). That individual will change when they're ready to.
2. You CAN NOT fix every situation that someone faces. That's actually hindering them from taking the responsibility to correct their own problems.
3. You do NOT have to be a fixer!!! 

You love them, You love them not...

Being in love with someone is totally different and separate in itself from just saying that you love someone.

<3 When you're in love, you love everything about him/her, flaws and all, but you will realize that you can not/should not want to change them. You want the best for them, you can see a future with him/her and if you're a believer you know that God needs to be in the mix! <3

<3 Some people say, "I love you" because they want something from you. Others say it because they think that's what you want to hear. And then you have those who say it because they just like the IDEA of being in love. Not to forget about those that blurt it out if the sex is good (just being honest). Lastly, there are those confused folk who don't know if they love you or not but they say it anyway (who does that??). <3

People before you go loosely throwing LOVE around, think about its ramifications....

 Song of Solomon 8: 4,7...Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.

Love Me

Love me
Not 'cause the sex is good
Love me
Not 'cause you think you could
Love me
Not 'cause you don't want to be alone
Love me
Cause I'm flesh of your flesh and bone of your bone
Love me
Cause you want that 1Corinthians 13:4-13 type deal
Love me
Cause without me, your existence could never be real
Love me

-----Bejoe

Zhane - Everything Happens For a Reason w/ Lyrics

When Love Hurts......

Okay I know for the most part, I've maintained a sense of humor throughout most of my blog post. But not this time......

It's so easy to throw out words when you're arguing with your spouse but you'll never be able to take those hurtful words back. Throwing out words like divorce and separation, get really old really quickly. You've created a festering wound in the one you claimed to love once upon a time, they'll build up a wall and declare that you'll never hurt them again. If you don't mean those words DON'T SAY THEM. But whatever you do don't continue to go about your usual day to day rigmarole and "forget" that you've been hurtful and spoken hurtful words and expect your mate to have forgotten what you've said...believe me they haven't.

Things will never be the same....

Just Say No to New Years Resolutions!!!

I use to be the one making all of these extremely impossible to accomplish (for me) New Years Resolutions. Some I'd follow through with, others I never came close to trying to achieve. The results would always be the same, I'd be so disappointed in myself and felt like a failure.  So this coming year I've decided that NOPE there will be NO New Years Resolutions for me.

.....certainly there are things that I need to work on, change, master, do, accomplish, focus on,  etcetera etcetera but these things will be done in due time. I'm not putting a time frame on anything any longer.

                                                        HAPPY NEW YEARS
                                                                     FROM
                                                     BEJOE AND THE 5 C'S