Welcoming the New Me....Fearless

Everyone has experienced loneliness, doubt, insecurities and the like. It's when we allow those things to overtake us that we do things we never thought we would.

At a low time in my life when I separated from my husband, I allowed loneliness and hurt to overtake me and entered into a relationship with someone else. This man wasn't sent by God to help nor "fix" me. All I could see was that someone was there to comfort me, talk to me but you know what?
The loneliness and hurt remained because I was just going further and further away from the things of Christ.

When I should have turned to God and cried out to Him to fill me. I did not. When I should have reached out to family and friends who I knew without a doubt would cover me in prayers and fight with me. I did not.
I couldn't fight my fears alone but I didn't want to seem weak or vulnerable on the outside.

Crumbling inside, I began attending church less, not speaking with my family as I should, my children still had "me" but I was not the "me" they've always known or had. I began shutting people out that would tell me about myself. I put on this front of happiness in the relationship that I found myself in. I was convicting myself but not allowing God to truly convict me.

People, loneliness will make you do some crazy things.

Today I walk in total forgiveness of self. I laid my heart bare before my children and my God. I'm no longer fearful of what tomorrow may bring because I have this crazy peace that I can't really explain. I can rest in all certainty that I know where I will spend eternity (and that's a beautiful thang!)



Psalms 23:4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Psalms 34:4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.


Christ's love is loyal.

Grumpy Grouch.....

You ever wake up and are just pissed (sorry Dad) and mad at the world? Well do you??

This morning, as I opened my eyes, wiping away eye boogers and crust, I could feel my eyebrows beginning to take form of the green poison control sticker guy. 

I'm angry. But why though?

I wanted to blame it on me just being a woman, you know hormonal but it has to be more than that. 

I took Paris, my children's puppy out to potty and fed her. Cleaned my kitchen, fixed a snack for my twins for school and prepared tonight's dinner. All before 6 a.m.

Still, I'm fuming. And no clue why.

Snapping at the kids when they woke up. Not cool mom. Not cool.

I had to get out of myself to try and acknowledge just where these feelings were stemming from.

Ahh, yes. And there it was.

Currently I have so many things going on in my life that I have not had the chance ( I lie, I haven't made the chance) to sit down and evaluate. This weight, these pressures had begun to become a part of me and they were beginning to invade me...even while I slept. We have to release and let our problems go in order to have peace in our lives. I am beyond guilty of trying to handle things on my own. 

Often we believe that we can handle all of our problems on our own. But sometimes that is just not the case. Sometimes we NEED other people to communicate feelings and emotions with, we NEED those people to breath new life into us and to believe in us but more so we NEED to know that we can trust God if we truly want to come out of the muck that we're in. 

I'm tough, I'm smart, I'm extremely independent but I CAN'T ALWAYS DO IT MYSELF. And I'm cool with that. :-)

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Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand. 

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Hello My Name is......

Everyone at some point in time has worn the name badge of Hurt, Lonely or Afraid.

You may think that....no one else in the world may understand...but you'd be wrong.

You may think that.... no one else in the world may hurt like you...but you'd be wrong.

When we fully give that hurt over to God, that name badge can be replaced with who He sees us as.

#HelloMyNameIsChrystal

Not Who I Use To Be

Why is it so hard to believe that people CAN change for the better.  We remember the hawt mess they were but forget the hawt messes we use to be?

" I Don't Wanna "....Grown and Pouting

We've all heard the saying, "there is someone out that who would to trade the problems they have for yours" or something like that. Any who, sometimes I just don't care to hear about what some else is going through, I just want to bask in my own issues and pout like an over grown kid. Am I wrong? Why yes of course I am but I'm also human. So that's when I know that I'm stepping out of God's will for my life. I pull my big girl britches up and ask God to forgive my selfishness and I extend myself to helping others the more.

Be An Ear

"Suffering in silence
Smiles that hide broken hearts
Pillows soaked with muffled sobs
...we all hide."

Regardless of how strong you believe yourself to be, sometimes you just need someone to just listen to your heart...not talk but just listen.
Not interject with whatever they're dealing with in their own life but just listen to YOU rant, rave, cry and even scream if you have to about YOU.

People, they're are so many hurting in silence but they're afraid to turn to you because they believe you won't value their heart, their experience.

#BeAnEar

Friend or Fiend???

According to Merriam-Webster's online dictionary, a friend is a person who you like being with as well as a person who helps or supports someone or something.

I'd like to go even further and suggest that a friend encourages, strengthens, builds and feeds life and newness into your character. They'd never allow you to go astray but if they saw that you were, they'd immediately bring you back to reality.

I think that sometimes the longing desire to have someone to call a friend, can cloud our judgment and we end up with a fiend instead. These people mean us no good, they plot against us and know our flaws only to use them against us,

What God says about friendship....

John 15:13

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Proverbs 27:9 

Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.

Sitting here, I'm thinking to myself just what kind of friend am I. Am I truly supportive and encouraging to them? Am I one that they can rely on no matter what? Will I pray for them? Could I offer brutal honesty to them when they're dead wrong?

What kind of friend are you?

Be the rainbow in some else's cloud.

   --- Dr. Maya Angelou